{Nykki in front of her alma mater}
Have you ever sensed the Lord leading you to do something crazy? I have. And he revealed himself to me in specific and significant ways.
In late 2019, at the tail end of a year-long season of prayer in which I sought God’s leading about the next steps for my family’s homeschool journey, I sensed he was preparing us for a transition that extended beyond homeschooling. He burdened me to seek his will regarding returning to work outside the home.
I was a full-time stay-at-home and homeschooling mom for about eight years at that time, after having worked as a mental health therapist. As I prayed about returning to work, I sensed it would not be as a therapist. God began to stoke the fire of my passion for advocacy again, just as he did before I applied to graduate school. However, this time it shifted towards the legal profession.
Suffice it to say, when I completed graduate school to become a therapist, I had declared I would never return to school. So, when the idea of going to school to pursue an entirely different career came to mind during my prayers (and as a middle-aged wife and mother to two school-aged children, no less!), I thought it was crazy. It would require a shift in how our family functioned and a substantial sacrifice.
I was doubtful of our family’s ability to function differently, illogically fearful of appearing overly ambitious, and mildly insecure about embarking on what would likely be an emotionally and mentally challenging journey. Nonetheless, God gave me faith for the journey despite my doubts and fears. I did it scared, and his gift of faith gave me excitement about how God would reveal himself on the journey. And, oh, did he reveal himself in myriad ways!
God revealed himself as sovereign Creator when he fashioned me with a love of learning and mental capacity for intense study.
He revealed himself as Provider when he gave abundant favor with the admissions process through a substantial scholarship award.
He revealed himself as Emmanuel, God with us, through consistent confirmation of his will and validation of his plan. He gave gentle nudges along the journey which encouraged, redirected, compelled, or sustained me as I labored towards the finish line.
He revealed himself as the God of all grace and care through the overwhelming support of my rockstar husband, children, extended family, friends, and community group.
He revealed himself as the God of all endurance and strength when I felt overwhelmed by 50 more pages to read after already reading 60, or when a three-hour final exam was scheduled during the Christmas concert performance weekend.
He revealed himself as Sovereign when he providentially orchestrated relational connections that resulted in multiple job offers during summers and after graduation.
He revealed himself as the God of salvation when he provided direct Gospel opportunities within my law school community.
He revealed himself as faithful when, though I failed the Delaware bar exam by three points, he gave me a job that does not require licensure.
Praise be to God!
Deep into your presence is where I want to be.
There, I discern your perfect will, your great plan for me.
I am calling out, oh God;
Lord, lead me unto you.
I give you my ways, commit them to you.
Lead me by your path; Lord, lead me unto you.
I am calling out, oh God;
Lord, lead me unto You.
“Lead Me Unto You,” song by Nicole Danielle
