When I read Wendy Stigora’s recent blog post, Modesty: More Than Just a Change of Clothes, I was struck by two things. First, I loved the focus on the biblical heart of modesty and the resultant challenge to examine our motivations and seriously consider the influences in our lives and the fruit being produced. I was also struck by the thought that the topic of modesty is not just for girls. I have two grown daughters and three grown sons, and when they were younger, the topic of modesty was a frequent conversation in our home for both the girls and the boys.
The topic would surface with our sons in some unexpected ways: questions or conversations about holes in shorts or jeans or whether a particular pair of pants could be worn without a belt. It showed up in conversations about slogans on graphic tees or whether that much-loved shirt had gotten way too small. There were questions about why they would need to button their shirts before going into a store or restaurant at the beach. It even came up in questions from our then preschoolers about why Mommy and Daddy didn’t want them to use the backyard as a bathroom, in full view of the neighborhood!
We wanted our children, boys included, to develop convictions of their own about modesty and how they dressed. We didn’t want them to approach the contexts of their lives with a casual, self-focused attitude toward clothing and appropriateness. And we wanted them to think first about the glory of the Savior they serve, to make much of Christ and make him their identity.
It is so easy to think of modesty as just a girl’s issue, but in Genesis 3, the Lord made garments to clothe both Adam and Eve to cover their shame. God had a purpose for clothing that extended to both men and women; he addressed Adam as well as Eve. In the New Testament, Paul outlines how women and men should present themselves to the world. In 1 Timothy 2:9, he calls women to be respectable and modest. In 1 Timothy 3:2 he calls men to have respectable lives that are above reproach in all things, instructing Timothy to look for such men as he appoints elders. Paul wants us to be men and women of character with a faith that has a deep impact on the way we live.
In a world where self-expression is idolized and the cultural norm flies in the face of biblical Christianity and competes for the affections of our children, we would be well served to examine the biblical heart of modesty as men and women, and as fathers and mothers for both our daughters and our sons… and to make it an ongoing family conversation.
