The Joy of a Shared Meal 

October 28, 2024
by

{Charity, second from the right, with her family at “Sabbath Dinner”}

My husband and I have always loved the concept of opening our home for hospitality. We often said that we wanted to have people over for dinner, and we even had a list of people to invite, but it rarely happened. Our first apartment was small, and we didn’t really think we had room for company, and then kids came. Life with kids is busy, and it was easy to feel like having people over was a lot of work. We had to get the house ready and make a special dinner, and where would everyone sit? So, we didn’t do it very often. 

About a year ago, I read a book that encouraged pursuing hospitality with our own families first. I realized it was right. I had it out of order. My desire for hospitality was totally right and good, but I needed to start with my own family. So over a year ago, our family began doing just that, and the result has been amazing

For us, Saturday dinner is where we enjoy a special meal each week as a family. We named it Sabbath Dinner because the meal intentionally looks forward to the Sunday gathering coming the next morning. We eat in the dining room rather than the kitchen, and I make a dinner that everyone loves to eat (not just tolerates). We light candles, give a toast with special drinks in fancy cups, and enjoy dessert. Given our current season of life, the “special dinner” often looks like mac and cheese or pizza muffins, and the “special drink” is just a flavored lemonade. But those things aren’t the point. The point is the rhythm and the special time together. It has become a wonderful part of our family culture that my kids look forward to. Even my three-year-old understands Sabbath Dinner and how special it is. Practically, it has meant setting aside some additional money in the budget to fund these dinners, since it requires buying food or drinks I might not otherwise buy, but it has been worth the investment!

After a few months of establishing our rhythms as a family, we started inviting other families to join us. And now, rather than putting on a show of hospitality, we are simply inviting them to join us in what we are already doing. I still make mac and cheese and kid-friendly foods, but now others get to enjoy it too. It’s been wonderful to expand our family celebration to include others, and I’ve found that since special Saturday dinner is “normal,” it feels like way less work to be ready to have others into our home. I just make a larger pan of mac and cheese! 

There are no rules for hospitality, and this idea might not work as well for you as it did for us, but it may be worth considering. You don’t need to have kids or be married to try an idea like this. You can do it in whatever season you’re in. If you’re not married, gather a group of friends and enjoy a regular dinner together. If your space is small, that’s okay, ours is too. Just make space where you can, even if that means eating dinner on your laps on the couch. The point is not fanciness or formality; the point is creating an opportunity to be together. For me, I know there will be a day when our boys have established their own households, but I hope we are still gathering together on Saturday night at one of our homes to have a Sabbath Dinner. It’s become a wonderful family tradition.

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