{Kristin, in the middle, with her husband and children}
“I’m so sorry!” a colleague mouthed to me as it was decided that a difficult student would be placed in my class the following year.
I’m not sorry, I thought. I rejoiced over the opportunity to have this student. But I didn’t always feel that way. Every new teacher has visions of what their career will look like. Many, I’m sure, include the perfect class, full of happy students who come to school eager to learn. They are cooperative, hands raised high, engaged in every lesson.
While many students fit those descriptors, the reality is that there are always students who are–well–difficult. I’m not talking about the students who would rather be at recess than in my classroom. I’m talking about the students who are defiant, disrespectful, disruptive, and even hurtful and destructive.
I did not want those students in my class. Not only did they make the day challenging, but they took away valuable time from other students who wanted to learn. They interfered with my plans. But God kept quietly telling me that he put those students in my class. Meanwhile, I had all kinds of excuses.
“Teach them,” I felt the Lord say.
“But they don’t want to learn!” I replied.
“Love them.”
“But they won’t let me.”
“Pray for them.”
“I do!”
“Pray for your own heart.”
Oof. That’s when it hit me. I didn’t struggle with these students because of who they were, I struggled because of the sin in my own heart. Matthew 18:10 says, “See that you do not despise one of these little ones.” The verses that follow tell the parable of a man going after a lost sheep and rejoicing when he finds it.
I had created an idol of comfort and ease as a teacher. I wanted a class filled with the ninety-nine. God showed me that if he could go after a sheep who is lost (ahem…me), I could pursue the difficult student. As a Christian in public education, I had a unique opportunity to represent Jesus. I wasn’t just there to teach students to read and write. I was there to love like Jesus. So I started praying that God would give me a heart to love the difficult students and to see them as he sees them, not as a burden but a blessing.
In his kindness, God answered that prayer, reminding me that each of my students was made in his image. Mark 9:37 says, “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me, receives not me but him who sent me.”
I have an opportunity to love Jesus by loving all of my students. If my students learn nothing else from me while in my class, they will learn that they are loved because they have a God who made them in his image and deeply loves them!
